Pan Party

Killed? I’m not sure what you mean, but thank you for your condolences XD

Thank you. I’ve been pretty busy recently, but I’ll be back to colourful pictures and pan info as soon as I can.

Okay, went to the link, will copy and paste the message. Sorry to assume you as spammy, but I’ve recieved loads of spam asks with links in them, and I haven’t heard of pastebin. It’s okay to stay anon, it’s why I have it open.

Why do you need to have cis, drag king/queen, etc. listed under the category gender in the first place? Ally and queer don’t have have a category listed. It doesn’t matter how obvious you think it is that gender is meant to be a broader category term - the fact that there has been confusion and offense over your wording implies that it needs to be clarified. Nobody but you knows what you intended to say.

I see now that I may need to change that, but what to? I had them under gender because they are related to gender. It’s all very well and good saying they aren’t gender descriptors, but no one has suggested what they ARE. I have Ally and Queer (reluctantly) without a category, as they are kind of all-encompassing, varying words.

And, no, cisgender is not a gender, no more than transgender is a gender. People can id as trans as their gender identity, but it is offensive to assume that they do. Most trans people, to the best of my knowledge, identify as male, female, or non-binary or non-gender, NOT as transgender. Referring to the state of being transgender as their gender or gender identity is assumptive and othering.

Transgender and cisgender are gender descriptions. Describing them as types of gender is hardly othering - the mere existance of man, woman and other genders shows that people don’t simply ID as trans or cis. The definitions are not saying “This is how you should identify”, they provide definitions of words. Transgender is the word for when a persons gender does not ‘match’ their sex; cisgender is the word for when it does. Perhaps I should add a disclaimer to Queertionary about the difference between dictionary-style definitions and personal identity, but I don’t see how saying that transgender and cisgender come under gender is othering.

If I were you, I would replace any instances where masculine and feminine gender occur with male and female gender. Yes, it does make the definitions of male and female recursive, however, you are still defining male and female as solely gender identities, irrespective of sex, which is still a definition that a lot of people will not assume automatically - and it’s that part of the definition is important. You need to get rid of masculine and feminine somehow or that will be the only part of the definitions anyone will see.

I personally don’t like using the terms ‘male’ and ‘female’ for gender - to me it says being female and being a woman (or male and a man) are the same thing, or are intrinsically linked. You end up having to describe people with phrases such as “male female person”. I have added “Feminine Gender” and “Masculine Gender” to Queertionary, but I might take the whole gender definition out, and have Man and Woman as the only binary gender words mentioned.

Also, you have polyromantic listed as a sexual attraction. Probably a typo, but you’d want to fix it.

Oops haha! I’ve probably fixed it in a later version of Queertionary, but I’ll double check. Thanks!

Look, I know that a lot of the negative reactions have been knee-jerk and hostile, and I can see why you’re upset by them. However, your defensive reaction is not helping your case much. If you’d apologized gracefully for any offense you may have inadvertently caused then maybe when you asked for assistance you’d be getting more non-antagonistic responses. You didn’t do that. You got defensive. It’s completely understandable, but fight that urge because it’s not going to make the discourse any more positive.

That is true, but I don’t think I’m the only person being kneejerk. “This is horrible.”

“all the things you claim queertionary says are things you’ve presumed.”

No. This is not an excuse. Texts do not exist in a vacuum and the interpretation of reader is just as instrumental to the meaning of the text as the intention of the writer. You don’t deserve to have abuse hurled at you, but the fact is if a large group of people is reading something into your words that you didn’t intend, then you done goofed. Own your mistakes.

A large group of people? 4 or 5 people. I was told that I said all women have to be feminine. I didn’t say that. I was told I said that I said the things listed under the category of gender are each their own separate gender identity. It doesn’t say that. If the previous ask had said “This implies this.” I would probably have apologised, and asked for a better wording. But the ask said “You said this, you are wrong.” Like I said, I’m just one person

And for the love of diety, STOP acting as if you are entitled to be educated by other people. No, if someone was offended by what you wrote, it is not their job to educate you. If someone knows exactly how to re-write what you said to make the meaning more clear, it is not their job to educate you. Anyone who takes time out of their day to help you is doing you a FAVOR. It is not your right.

No, that is true; it is never the job of the oppressed to educate the privileged. However, I am not some straight cis person with no idea – I am a genderqueer, pansexual person.

It’s also true that you don’t just go up to people and tell them “No, you are doing this all wrong”, and leave it at that. I wouldn’t tell people “No, you are horrible, don’t use the word hermaphrodite!” and not tell them to say intersex instead, because that just leaves them in the same place.

Maybe my answer was harsh. I am sorry for any offense I caused, but the negative feedback leaves me nowhere. What I am supposed to write instead? Nothing, clearly I am a dickhead. Queertionary is a project. I think every one I bring out says “Suggest improvements” or something along those lines. If I had received feedback with constructive criticism, that would have indeed been a favour. However, I received no favour, as without constructive comments, criticism is just a synonym for condemnation. I’m trying to build a queer dictionary, as most of the ones I’ve found leave a lot of people out. I don’t have to do it.

Thank you for your suggestions, I take all suggestions and comments into consideration.

PS. You’re right, I had polyromantic as a sexual attraction! That’s what copy and paste does, I need to pay more attention. Thanks.

Huh. Submit page is indeed missing. I’m not sure what that link is to, and it looks a bit spammy, anon, so I will fix my submit page, but I won’t go to the link. Thank you, and sorry.

Feminine means “associated with being female” - likewise with masculine and male. I’ve since included Feminine Gender and Masculine Gender in Queertionary. Masculine appearance or behaviour is not the same as masculine gender, but if you think of a better definition, let me know. It’s as best as I can define it. It’s hardly as if I said “a feminine person.”

I had those under gender, as they are related to gender. I’m not sure what to list them as, but I wanted to include them, and it was the only thing I could list them as. And cisgender is gender - it’s being the same gender as you are assigned with your sex. If that’s not a gender thing, what is it? I didn’t write (gender identity) and I’m not sure what you think I should write instead?

Maybe my definitions aren’t worded perfectly, but I think you’ve made kneejerk reactions. Something being a kind of gender does not make it it’s own gender identity. Trying to explain the binary genders without using sex terms (male and female) is very difficult, and it doesn’t say “someone who is feminine only” but instead names the gender “the feminine gender” as it is the one associated with females.

Like I said, constructive criticism is better than writing off something as horrible because the wording isn’t perfect; all the things you claim queertionary says are things you’ve presumed. To be honest, I’m just one person and I think telling me that I’m ignorant and offensive because you read things into Queertionary that aren’t necessarily there is rude.